,

The Surprising History of the Bridesmaid

bride with her bridesmaids

History of bridesmaids: Role, Rituals and Superstitions

Following along from my recent post pertaining to the Best Man origin story which outlined the historic significance of having a best man at your wedding, I thought I might do a bit of research behind the history of the bridesmaid, and what they used to do in a historic context. Everything that we do at a wedding has been handed down over many generations as traditional events that happen on a wedding day, and the bridal party is no exception.

In modern weddings, much like the best man’s role in helping the groom arrive on time at a wedding, the bridal party is in attendance for the same reasons, to help the bride to be prepare for her wedding day. In modern society it’s most common for the bridal party to help out in wedding planning than that of the men, but that’s only because women typically know much much more in regards to what works at a wedding and what doesn’t. On the day itself, the bridesmaids are there to calm nerves, help the bride get dressed and have a ball all day.

Bridesmaids holding boquets

What is the History of the bridesmaid?

Bridesmaids run right back to ancient Roman times when Roman law required 10 witnesses to be present at a wedding. These 10 witnesses were usually friends of the bride and groom and hence the ‘bridal party’ was born. Bridesmaids and grooms men had to dress just like the bride and groom to confuse vengeful spirits (or real-life jealous suitors) who might try to harm the couple. In fact, much of what the ancient Romans did are seen today as many of the marriage traditions we partake in today.

Exchanging of rings, having a wedding party (reception) after, and a written contract sealed with a kiss are all customs we are used to seeing in modern weddings, but are all accredited to what the ancient Romans did also. The Roman matron of honour was supposed to be an upstanding role model for the new bride, they were supposed to be a moral role model, known for fidelity and obedience. (She had to have been married no more than once, and to have a living husband.)

History of the bridesmaid

The History of the bridesmaid can be biblical

Another origin story for the history of the bridesmaid is Biblical: When Jacob married Leah and Rachel in Genesis 29, each brought her own “maid”, but they were personal servants rather than your typical bouquet-holding bridesmaids. When considering times after the Romans, bridesmaids became less common due to the nature of society, including kidnapping of brides and overall sexist mentality not affording much freedom for the bride.

However, bridesmaids and maids of honour became more common when weddings were planned. For several days before the marriage, a senior maid attended to the bride-to-be. This maid or matron of honour, as we know her today, ensured that the bridal wreath was made and helped the bride get dressed. All bridesmaids (which all had to be younger than the bride by the way) helped the bride decorate for the wedding feast.

Bridesmaids during wedding ceremony

What is the origin of the bridal bouquet at weddings?

The matron of honour would also be in charge of the dow purse, holding the dowry to give to the groom in exchange for marrying her. In modern weddings this is demonstrated by holding the bridal bouquet during the wedding ceremony. Also a fun fact is that it was quite common for less well off families to hold a bit of a ‘hen’s night’ for the bridesmaids and well wishers in order to collect gifts given to the bride, which in turn would be given to the groom as a dowry.

Genesis 29

What is the superstition about being a bridesmaid?

There are a lot of superstitions regarding bridesmaids, for instance, if a bridesmaid stumbled on the way to the altar, the superstition was that she would never marry, which is kind of sad isn’t it? A more famous superstition is of course being the bridesmaid that catches a bouquet is the next to be married, however did you know that in the 16th century, if you had served as bridesmaid three times without getting married yourself, it was believed that evil spirits had cursed you. To break the curse, you’d have to be a bridesmaid four more times, for a total of seven rounds on the wedding circuit, hence the lucky number 7. History can be interesting can’t it?!

History of the bridesmaid

Why Did Bridesmaids Historically Dress Like the Bride?

In ancient times, bridesmaids and groomsmen dressed identically to the bride and groom. The reason behind this tradition was steeped in superstition. It was believed that by dressing the bridal party in matching outfits, they could confuse evil spirits or jealous suitors who might wish to harm the newlyweds. This practice of disguising the bride and groom amidst a group of look-alikes was thought to provide a form of protection, safeguarding the couple from ill intent or bad luck during their wedding day.

Bride and groom celebrate with their wedding party in front of a rustic stone castle on a rainy day.

While the history of the bridesmaid doesn’t really resonate with the modern romantic vision of marriage, I thought this little research of mine has given you a little bit of insight into why and how we do these things at weddings. 🙂

,

Best Man origin story

As a wedding photographer with over 350 weddings to my belt, I have a bit of interest and knowledge of the historical traditions that come with he whole wedding scene the Best Man origin story is one of the least politically correct origin story of many of the different wedding traditions around, but this is the case with many things that have their roots many hundreds of years ago.

In modern times, being asked to be the ‘Best Man’ at a wedding is seen as a great honour and a sign of friendship and trust between the groom and the Best Man. This is of course very similar to the different members of the bridal party. The Best Man is supposed to make sure the day runs smoothly by organising things like seating, helping the groom get over nerves and ensuring he doesn’t party too hard the night before.

All this of course before delivering a comical speech designed to embarrass the groom in front of their wedding guests. The history of being the Best Man is actually quite different.

Groom and best man on motorcycle

The Best Man origin story

Back in the 16th century Britain, the practice of abducting brides from neighbouring towns was quite commonplace. It was the role of the Best Man to join the groom  and his entourage in their quest to kidnap the Bride from the comfort of her own home. This was of course all before the women’s rights movement, so men who had decided upon a wife often had to forcefully take her with him (or kidnap her) if her family did not approve of their marriage. Our custom of the best man is a throwback to this kidnapping custom.

Best man with the rings

This however was not the historic Best Man origin story, as the practice of having to kidnap the bride goes way back to Gothic Germany (0-200AD) where it was customary for a man to marry a woman from within his own community. When women came into short supply “locally,” bachelors would have to seek out and capture a bride from a neighbouring community.

This was of course not a one man job, so the ‘Best Man’ for the  job of helping the groom in this task was chosen to help. Unlike in Britain however, where this was a somewhat accepted practice, in Germany there was a real threat of the woman’s family taking up arms to retrieve her. As such it was then the Best Man’s duty to help fend off any attackers. The Best Man and his entourage were often heavily armed and stayed by the groom’s side throughout the marriage ceremony.

This is why it’s tradition, especially in the UK to have swords being worn by the men involved at a wedding.

Groom going postal on groomsmen

Why does the bride stand to the left?

Not really to the Best Man origin story is that traditionally the bride usually stands to the left of the groom. This is again due to the unfortunate truth that she may actually be there due to being kidnapped, so the groom, and his best man need to have their sword hand at the ready to defend against any family members disapproving of the marriage.

The St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre (August 24, 1572), depicted below, was a bloody day in the history of France. The murderous events following the marriage of the Catholic princess Marguerite (Margot) and the Protestant ruler Henry of Navarre. History states that the wedding was not one that princess Marguerite really wanted and when the priest asked the equivalent of ‘Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband’ she did not say ‘I do’, then all hell broke loose.

This may have been an over dramatisation of actual events, embellished for later plays and books, but the massacre did actually happen.

Best Man wedding painting

 

This also one reason why men in modern weddings will wear their ‘flower’ on the left side of their suit jacket – it not only covers the heart, as is the reason why most people attribute this traditon, but it also represents what was once worn on the left – their sword.

Also originating from this practice, which literally swept a bride off her feet, sprang the later symbolic act of carrying the bride across the threshold of her new home. The honeymoon is also related to this event, as presumably the bride’s family would still be quite upset about all of this that the newly weds would have to ‘disappear’ for a time so that to give the bride’s family time to come to terms of what has happened.

Best man origin

Thankfully modern society has no need for sword wielding best men and entourage to protect a bride and groom from ill-wishing relatives! However, the role of the best man in a general sense really hasn’t changed all that much, they are still supposed to make sure the day runs smoothly, be it from rampaging in-laws to negotiating with the reception venue over the price of the drink package.