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Wedding dress shopping tips

As I’m currently getting ready for my own wedding this October, I’ve been in an interesting position where I’ve been putting all my experience and knowledge that’s come from years of being a professional wedding photographer into planning my own wedding. Today I’d like to share some tips concerning wedding dress shopping. Now obviously I’m not completely privy to what goes on in the mostly female domain that is wedding dress shopping, but I do know what my own fiance and plenty of my clients have said and commented on in regards to the subject.

Wedding dress shopping tips

Wedding dress shopping tips

Wedding dress shopping is very exciting for the bride and her family so you’ve really got to take time and prepare for the decision. Before you go out and start trying on gowns and getting attached, please keep these tips in the back of your mind.

Don’t take too many people

Everyone has their own opinion, but the only opinion that should matter would be your own, and perhaps your mother as she’d probably be just as invested in your choice as you are. Dragging along your entire bridal party, your friends and their dogs aren’t going to help the decision process at all. in fact it will hamper it. If you like something and it’s obtainable, go for it, don’t let too many people have a say in your decision.

Mobile phone photos of Bride

Don’t decide too early, but also don’t leave it too late!

If you find a gown that you love 12 months out from your wedding, that’s great! But just be aware the more dresses and styles you discover and look at will influence your tastes further down the road. What happens if they change so much you don’t like it on the big day? Take your time, and just make sure you have enough time between now and your wedding day for alterations. On that point don’t leave your gown shopping too late! Alterations on wedding gowns can take a crazy long time and it’s no good unfinished.

Make appointments

Many in-demand bridal boutiques are appointment only, so make sure the store you’re planning on visiting takes appointments and make one if need be. These places take appointments for the same reason doctors do, so as to devote their time to you and you alone. Make sure you inform them on how many people will be attending also, just so they can cater to your party as best they can. Also try to paint a picture on the style of gown you’d be after. That way they can sort out a small pre selection of gowns for you to try, streamlining the process.

Wedding dress

Budget?

Wedding gowns can range from $99 to $99,000, be sure to stick to your budget or you may find yourself in the ER ward once you see the bill. It’s easy to forget your budget when you’re considering your bridal gown as it’s such a emotional moment and many people will give the advice to ‘splurge’. But there’s ‘spluging’ and being downright reckless in regards to your budget, and believe me wedding gown bills can really hurt. Before you set-foot into any boutique, know how much you want to spend and tell the shop assistant your budget. This would also help with being swayed by the amazing bargain of 70% off, or the horrible cheap dresses that look good online but in reality are glorified fancy dress costumes.

Wear what you’d wear on your wedding day

Underwear lines tend to stand out quite a bit in wedding photography, and anytime really, so when wedding dress shopping, please go shopping for suitable underwear first! Try to match the colour of your dress also, whites and ivory colours usually suit, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to point it out ot a bride while being prepared. Also consider your shoes, wearing high heels will make you taller, wearing flipflops may cause the hem to get dirty. Try to wear something similar to what you’d wear on your day, if not your actual wedding shoes.

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Modern wedding etiquette

As someone who really enjoys attending weddings, and have attended close to 100 weddings over my career as a wedding photographer, I’m a bit of a sucker for some of the more traditional aspects of weddings. I’ve blogged in the past about the historic origins of some of the more well known wedding traditions, such as the origin of the best man and bridal party, even saying like ‘tying the knot’. But what I’ve noticed over the past few years are a few changes to modern wedding etiquette. Such things like smartphones, hash-tags and things like photo booths just are not steeped in tradition, and yet are fast becoming an integral part of the modern wedding.

Modern wedding etiquette

Unplugged weddings?

Your wedding photographs are going to be your lasting window enabling you to revisit the memories of emotion and joy that was your wedding day, which is kind of why having a professional wedding photographer there on the day is one of the most important additions to your day. Having a professional wedding photographer and videographer there on your day shows that you care about your images, and lasting memories, so chances are you’d like them to look your best right? A common form of modern wedding etiquette I’ve noticed is the rise of the ‘unplugged wedding’ whereby, the bride and groom instructs each of their guests not to use their own phones or cameras in order for their paid photographer to best do their job. This allows for better scenes from your wedding photographer not having to contend with ipads in their face all day, and also your guests can enjoy your wedding, without having to worry about getting their phone out to grab their own shots.

Mobile phone photos of Bride

All hail the #hashtag!

If there is nothing else on this list, it has to be the hashtag, a lot of people reading thins may still not realise what a hashtag is, or even does. Basically, having a unique hashtag developed for your wedding allows your guests to share any photos, video or comments on-line, via any form of social media by adding your hashtag to the description section. This is of course if you’re not having an ‘unplugged’ wedding :). Then via the magic of the internet, all that content gets amalgamated for your viewing. It’s actually quite incredible, and insanely convenient as it saves you chasing up after every single guests for their photos. To make one, simply take say your names (ie Bob and Belinda) and stick a hashtag (#) in front of them so perhaps #Bobbelinda, or #Bobandbelinda. Anywhere you type that on social media, it will turn into a link, which you can press and see what other people have also used that hashtag for.

Either gender in the bridal party

It is entirely not uncommon these days for members of either gender to play a role in either the groom, or the bride’s entourage. Traditionally members of the grooms men were restricted to men, and the bridal party to women, however in the age of equality, it is quite accepted to have members of either gender representing either the bride or groom. Some weddings I’ve been to actually don’t differentiate the grooms men and bridal party at all, but rather have one big group.

Bridal party

Who pays?

With the cost of an average wedding in Australia being a very hefty $36,200, it’s usually  part of modern wedding etiquette to share the costs involved with hosting a wedding. Traditionally it was the bride’s family that foot the bill, however, with the average age of couples that are getting married nearing 30, they are usually living by themselves and financially independent. This said however, due to the modern huge expense a wedding can represent, often the parents of both sides of the family will chip in a decent amount, and then it’s also not uncommon for guests to contribute through wedding gifts that simply amount to cash.

Wedding gifts

Leading on from who pays for a wedding, it’s considered pretty standard modern wedding etiquette to simply ask for cash in lieu of more traditional wedding gifts to help pay for the wedding. This is usually done by placing a ‘wishing well’ or something similar at the wedding reception where guests can add a card, lined with cash instead of a gift. It was traditional that guests were to buy gifts to help the newly wed couple set up their home together, but it’s not not done as much.

Wishing well

Update that facebook status!

If you’re keen on social media, like the majority of young newly weds, then you’d better update that relationship status on the day of your wedding! If you don’t be prepared for all of your guests continually pestering you to do so. Facebook has become a website that contains all the information you’d usually find out through polite conversation, and relationship status is one of those pieces of information that has become something that everyone can know by looking you up first. This can be a good and bad thing depending on how you feel about sharing your information on-line. But if you do, you’d better update your status!

Listen to the couple’s wishes

Along this same vein though, perhaps the newly wedded couple are planning on keeping their new relationship status a secret, for whatever reason. In which case it;s not unusual for them to request no images or anything relating to the wedding be put up on social media until they say it’s ok. It’s a part of modern wedding etiquette that can have huge ramifications regarding relationships between friends, family and even media. So be sure to listen to their desires and perhaps hold off from congratulating the newly weds for a little bit until they say it’s ok.

Mobile phone

There are plenty more aspects to modern wedding etiquette that I simply cant list in one article, including use of websites, clothing, bringing kids and dates. But I felt that what I’ve listed so far are perhaps the most modern of modern wedding etiquette trends that I’ve come across during my career. Feel free to discuss any of it in a comment below!

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Ring warming ceremony

Close-up of wedding rings nestled in moss within a elegant glass gift box.

Have a Ring Warming Ceremony at your Wedding

A ring warming ceremony is a delightful modern wedding custom, developed in Ireland with the goal of developing a secular wedding tradition that didn’t draw on religious ideals in order to pass on the notion of love and belief of the gathering congregation towards the bride and groom. The basic idea is that your wedding rings are ‘warmed’ by each member of your congregation by having each of them hold your rings for a certain amount of time. Hence the name ‘ring warming ceremony’.

Wedding rings

How to hold a ring warming ceremony

Generally a ring warming ceremony takes place just before, or during your wedding ceremony. One way is if you do not have a gigantic congregation, your celebrant, generally at the beginning of your ceremony, directs all the guests present to pass your rings around, and have them hold your rings to ‘warm’ them with their love and well wishes. Obviously if you have hundreds of guests, this really isn’t a viable option, so another option is to have your rings stationed some place at the front of your ceremony, with all your guests invited to hold them as they enter. A third option is to simply limit the number of people who participate in the ring warming ceremony, perhaps only having your parents and bridal party participate.

Exchanging wedding rings

Things to consider

It’s a good idea to ask someone you trust to look after the rings, if you opt to have your ring warming before the ceremony proper, this duty could be given to the best man, who’s job traditionally is to safe guard the rings anyway. If you choose to have them passed around, it just pays to have someone dedicated to watching them, after all they should be destined for your fingers!

Tell your guests about it also, a ring warming ceremony is still quite a new wedding tradition, so chances are not many of your guests will know what one is. It’s a good idea to perhaps have your celebrant work the explanation into his speech, or even add details about it in your wedding invitations.

Think about how long the ceremony would take. I mentioned before that sometimes handing your rings around a huge congregation wouldn’t be particularly smart, considering you’d be potentially waiting at the altar for your rings to reappear after the procession.

Consider tying your rings together, and possibly attaching them to something like a pillow, or box. One downside of this otherwise well-meaning and beautiful ceremony showing family love is that your rings will be moving around a large area, with the possibility of them being dropped and lost. Particularly if your wedding is taking place outside. Having them attached to something larger will minimise this risk.

Wedding rings

The idea of a ring warming ceremony is that your wedding rings have been ‘warmed’ forever by the well wishes and positive thoughts of each of your guests. This is a wonderfully personal way to get your guests involved in your wedding ceremony, rather than simply turning up 🙂

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‘Tying the Knot’ – History

‘Tying the Knot’ or to ‘tie the knot’ is a saying synonymous with getting married to day, but where does it come from? It’s funny thinking about these types of saying we use on a daily basis, not really knowing where they originate from, but gleefully use them without thinking about what they really mean. In the case of ‘Tying the Knot’ however it’s no where near as dark as the origin of the tradition of having a Best Man, it’s actually quite nice 🙂 I was thinking about the origin of the saying as I have just become engaged myself, and we announced it on Facebook using an image we produced together of a tied knot in between our hands.

Tying the knot

Origin of the saying ‘Tying the knot’

In the US, the saying ‘let’s get hitched’ refers to the practice of ‘hitching’ up your horse as you go to town, or tying a knot in a rope to keep your horse from trotting away. In the same vein the idea was that ‘getting hitched’ was tying a knot between the two newly weds, or in some people’s minds, tying a lady down like a horse so she wouldn’t get away. Because of this, the saying ‘Tying the knot’ is commonly, incorrectly attributed to this practice.

The term ‘Tie the Knot’ came from an earlier time, during the Renaissance in a ceremony called “Handfasting”. ‘Handfast’ and its variations are defined in the Oxford English dictionary as “to make a contract (of marriage) between parties by joining of hands.” Kind of like a handshake. This could also be interpreted today as a proposal of marriage for a specific period of time, traditionally a year and a day. the notion of marriage by the way has not always been an eternal one, with marriages in the past being made for  “a year and a day,” “a lifetime”, “for all of eternity” or “for as long as love shall last” depending on your vows.

Handfasting

The old way in Great Britain for couples to pledge their betrothal was for them to join hands, his right to her right, his left to her left, so from above they looked like an infinity symbol. ‘Handfastings’, which is an ancient word for ‘wedding’ were traditional before weddings became a legal function of governments or formal religions in the early 1500’s. The very word ‘Handfasting’ derived its origin from the custom of tying the the bride and groom’s hands and wrists together. In this period of time, it’s actually quite interesting to note that during the traditional period of time for a wedding of ‘a year and a day’ or 13 moon cycles, the bride was referred to as a Virgin, or ‘a woman not owned by a man’. It was after this period of time that, if the marriage survived that long, longer vows could be taken.

So there you go! Another wedding history tidbit from my research of the history of the modern wedding!

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Wedding shoes selection tips

Elegant white high-heels and diamond ring on natural rock background.

Things to think about when selecting your wedding shoes

When meeting with new clients as a wedding photographer, I’m often asked questions regarding tips and tricks to help with your wedding day. One recurring tip I tend to give out is regarding your wedding shoes. It’s usually something that not many people think about when planning their wedding. People are too often caught up in the big decisions such as your wedding venue, who is going to be your celebrant, and your wedding photographer, it’s easy to forget what’s going to be put on your feet. That isn’t to say that wedding shoes gets completely overlooked, I know how important a woman’s shoe collection can be 😉 It’s more to do with the style of your footwear that I’m talking about.

Bridal shoes sneakers

Wedding shoes tips

Think about the terrain

Where will you be holding your wedding ceremony, but also where are you going for photos after? I always suggest that a bride should have with her some form of comfortable flat-style shoe that she can wear after taking off her high heels after the ceremony. There’s nothing less elegant than a bride trying to bush hack through the undergrowth of a forest in high heels because she wants photos done in the Australian bush, similarly on a beach, it’s near impossible to walk in high heels.

Wedding shoes thongs

How long is your dress?

Adding on to the idea of having flats at your wedding, high heels are worn in order to make you look taller, which is fine at your ceremony. You’re not likely to be walking any further than the length of the aisle and usually on a firm, flat surface. But after the ceremony, like I said bushwhacking isn’t elegant. Chances are your wedding dress will be long enough to hide the fact you aren’t wearing high heels any longer anyway. So don’t worry too much about that.

Find some high heel helpers

If you absolutely must wear high heels at all times, high heel helpers may be your best bet. These come in a number of different styles and colours and they simply add more surface area to the pointy end of your stiletto shoes, making your wedding shoes more sturdy and able to traverse less uneven terrain, such as grass.

High heel helper

Wear in your shoes

While worn shoes don’t make the best wedding photos when doing close-up detail shots of your bridal affects, wearing in your wedding shoes can help save you from a days worth of raw, blistered feet as a result of walking about on brand new shoes. This doesn’t mean wearing then out on the town, simply wearing them for an hour or two around home would help plenty. This would also help you determine where to add anti-rub gel packs to help with any rubbing.

Putting on shoes

Don’t forget the boys!

While the bridal wedding shoes is usually the focal point of your wedding style, and can be utterly elegant and a marvel to look at, chances are your men’s shoes are more likely to be seen by guests than your own! Especially if you’re wearing a long wedding dress. Chances are you’ll have the men running about quite a bit, and possibly climbing things when it comes to your wedding photography. So keeping your men happy with good shoes are a must.

Elegant brown leather shoes resting on tree branches, blending fashion with nature.

Do not go cheap

Remember these are the shoes you’ll be wearing all day, and like I said earlier, often these shoes are brand new. This causes huge pain later in the night when you’re trying to dance the night away at your reception. It’s really not uncommon to see brides taking off their shoes all together, which is a shame as they’ve probably put a lot of time and effort into choosing them. A good quality, sturdy and comfortable shoes are a must and they don’t often come cheap.

Bridal shoes