I’ve recently got engaged and am in the process of developing my own guest list for the wedding! As a wedding photographer I more often reap the benefits of a well culled wedding guest list well after the sweat and tears that goes into actually cutting your wedding guest list.
Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life, so it stands to reason that you’d like to be surrounded by friends and well wishers that you care about! Chances are however that you don’t actually want or even like a lot of the people you might be expected to invite Feeling pressure to add your second cousin twice removed whom you haven’t seen in 20 odd years since you were 5 years old is common, and it’s stress you just don’t need. So here are some tips on cutting your wedding guest list without feeling guilty about it.
Tips for cutting your wedding guest list
Consider your venue
Possibly the easiest way to justify not inviting people are the physical limitations of your venue. You can’t fit 200 people into a reception hall that only holds 80 people right? This doesn’t necessarily relate to your ceremony venue however, having less people at your reception is quite a common occurrence and can be used as a pretty compelling reason to limit invites to your reception, saying that they can come to the ceremony proper, but just cant justify them at the reception.
Don’t let your parents run the show
The source for a lot of the invites you may be pressured into may come from your parents trying to dictate who can or cant come you your own wedding. Yes they are probably helping out with the cost of the day, and you’re probably very thankful for it, but when actually cutting your wedding guest list you need to have complete control over who is invited and who isn’t. It’s your wedding day, you should be the boss. Give your parents a quota of friends they can invite, this way it’s a bit of a compromise from them inviting everyone they know and nobody at all.
Set a time limit
Haven’t spoken face to face with someone for more than, say a year? Then don’t invite them They aren’t really in your life at any meaningful level. exceptions may be for people living overseas, etc. But if all you’ve ever done with these people are like their status updates on Facebook since high school, then do you really need to shell out $100-200 for them to be at your reception?
Kids should stay home
We were just talking to the owner of Middlebrook estate for our own wedding, and she was talking about another wedding that were going to bring upwards of 30 children to their reception. This was about 1/4 of the entire guest list so they figured they’d hire carers and set them up in their own separate party. This sounded reasonable until you realise that children’s meals at wedding receptions are no cheaper, and that there is a legally mandated ratio of carers to children in this kind of scenario. While having kids at a wedding is often difficult to not have for purposes such as flower girls or page boys, bringing them to a reception is just asking them to get bored and whine about having no wifi.
Co-workers?
If you socialise with co-workers outside of work then wouldn’t you consider them to be your friends? There isn’t much expectation for co-workers who only see each other at work to invite each other to something as intimate as a wedding.
Stick to your rules
When it comes right down to it, cutting your wedding guest list to something a bit more manageable is only going to be as successful as you are at sticking to the rules you set out for yourself. Don’t feel guilty not inviting someone to your day, because it’s YOUR day! you can celebrate it however you damn well please. Sit down, write our rules and stick by them. This will make the process so much easier.
History of the bridesmaid
Following along from my recent post pertaining to the Best Man origin story which outlined the historic significance of having a best man at your wedding, I thought I might do a bit of research behind the history of the bridesmaid, and what they used to do in a historic context. Everything that we do at a wedding has been handed down over many generations as traditional events that happen on a wedding day, and the bridal party is no exception.
In modern weddings, much like the best man’s role in helping the groom arrive on time at a wedding, the bridal party is in attendance for the same reasons, to help the bride to be prepare for her wedding day. In modern society it’s most common for the bridal party to help out in wedding planning than that of the men, but that’s only because women typically know much much more in regards to what works at a wedding and what doesn’t. On the day itself, the bridesmaids are there to calm nerves, help the bride get dressed and have a ball all day.
This is the History of the bridesmaid
Bridesmaids run right back to ancient Roman times when Roman law required 10 witnesses to be present at a wedding. These 10 witnesses were usually friends of the bride and groom and hence the ‘bridal party’ was born. Bridesmaids and grooms men had to dress just like the bride and groom to confuse vengeful spirits (or real-life jealous suitors) who might try to harm the couple. In fact, much of what the ancient Romans did are seen today as many of the marriage traditions we partake in today.
Exchanging of rings, having a wedding party (reception) after, and a written contract sealed with a kiss are all customs we are used to seeing in modern weddings, but are all accredited to what the ancient Romans did also. The Roman matron of honour was supposed to be an upstanding role model for the new bride, they were supposed to be a moral role model, known for fidelity and obedience. (She had to have been married no more than once, and to have a living husband.)
The History of the bridesmaid can be biblical
Another origin story for the history of the bridesmaid is Biblical: When Jacob married Leah and Rachel in Genesis 29, each brought her own “maid”, but they were personal servants rather than your typical bouquet-holding bridesmaids. When considering times after the Romans, bridesmaids became less common due to the nature of society, including kidnapping of brides and overall sexist mentality not affording much freedom for the bride.
However, bridesmaids and maids of honour became more common when weddings were planned. For several days before the marriage, a senior maid attended to the bride-to-be. This maid or matron of honour, as we know her today, ensured that the bridal wreath was made and helped the bride get dressed. All bridesmaids (which all had to be younger than the bride by the way) helped the bride decorate for the wedding feast.
What is the origin of the bridal bouquet?
The matron of honour would also be in charge of the dow purse, holding the dowry to give to the groom in exchange for marrying her. In modern weddings this is demonstrated by holding the bridal bouquet during the wedding ceremony. Also a fun fact is that it was quite common for less well off families to hold a bit of a ‘hen’s night’ for the bridesmaids and well wishers in order to collect gifts given to the bride, which in turn would be given to the groom as a dowry.
Superstitions surrounding bridesmaids?
There are a lot of superstitions regarding bridesmaids, for instance, if a bridesmaid stumbled on the way to the altar, the superstition was that she would never marry, which is kind of sad isn’t it? A more famous superstition is of course being the bridesmaid that catches a bouquet is the next to be married, however did you know that in the 16th century, if you had served as bridesmaid three times without getting married yourself, it was believed that evil spirits had cursed you. To break the curse, you’d have to be a bridesmaid four more times, for a total of seven rounds on the wedding circuit, hence the lucky number 7. History can be interesting can’t it?!
While the history of the bridesmaid doesn’t really resonate with the modern romantic vision of marriage, I thought this little research of mine has given you a little bit of insight into why and how we do these things at weddings. 🙂
Gemma and Ryan’s wedding at Utopia waterfall gully was an absolute blast to be a part of as their wedding photographer, not only because of the amazing wedding venue, but also because Gemma ad Ryan, along with their entourage were really fun to be around and couldn’t have been nicer people. Their affinity with the fantasy genre and their goal to incorporate their fandom into their wedding photos made it even better 🙂 From their preparation photos with weaponry, through to more personal affects such as personal charms and style of their wedding rings.
Preparation Photos
First off, Gemma and Ryan wanted to throw as many wedding traditions out the window as was passable by their respective families. This was apparent right off the bat when I arrived at their preparation location of the old Mt Lofty Railway station in Stirling. It was a joint preparation, where everyone was being prepared within the same space, both the groom’s party and the bridal party. What made it even more fun was the inclusion of larp weaponry, straight from the Lord of the Rings.
Utopia waterfall gully wedding ceremony
Utopia waterfall gully was chosen by Gemma and Ryan as it reminded them of Rivendell, the Elvish city in Lord of the Rings. This was fine with me as I absolutely love the location as a wedding venue, and it’s pretty much second to none in Adelaide. The timing of their wedding was also perfect for Utopia waterfall gully, as the Autumn colours were in full swing, which provided the perfect backdrop to an already beautiful place.
The chalet that now makes Utopia waterfall gully was originally constructed as a tea room in 1912. It was built in the style of a Swiss chalet and is now considered Australia’s earliest example of a ‘refreshment room’ set in a national park. Today the heritage listed building still stands, and has been recently updated to accommodate a larger gathering of people for events such as wedding receptions. The inside really is quite spectacular and has a wonderfully homely feel perfect for weddings.
Gemma and Ryan’s wedding ceremony took place on a small patch of grass near a gazebo erected below the chalet, which is where most weddings take place when opting to have Utopia waterfall gully as the venue.
Waterfall Gully Glamour shoot
It had been a long time since I last visited waterfall gully, and I can’t remember ever visiting during the Autumn, but the colours in waterfall gully were absolutely amazing for wedding photography. But this also meant that truckloads of tourists were also wandering about in the background of almost every composition I lined up to shoot! The experience was much different to the last wedding I took in Waterfall Gully almost 3 years ago in the winter. Gemma and Ryan were quite adventurous also, which made taking wonderful nature-clad photos that much easier as they were keen to climb about the hills and through foliage as I directed 😀
Utopia waterfall gully wedding reception
Gemma and Ryan’s wedding reception filled out the chalet of Utopia waterfall gully, spilling out onto what would usually be used for the dance floor. With that many guests, with varying dietary requirements, Gemma and Ryan also opted for something I hadn’t seen before, which was a selection of two different wedding cakes! One traditional, the other whole cheese wheels stacked upon one another! And if that wasn’t thoughtful enough, they had what I consider to be the best bomboniere idea ever, which was lego men for all! This catered for both the large compliment of children, and the children at heart that were in attendance. 🙂
Thank you Gemma and Ryan for having be as part of your amazing wedding day. I had an absolute blast, and you even gave me ideas for my own upcoming wedding! Definitely stealing the Lego minifig idea!
Bomboniere ideas for your wedding
Bomboniere gifts, or ‘favours’ to your guests on a wedding day have become quite common place over the years, however it’s usually a bit of a task to find bomboniere ideas that really speak about who you are as a couple and that your guests might actually want. As a wedding photographer I’m in a great position to get to experience weddings of all sorts, of couples of all different personalities, so I get to see a whole heap of different bomboniere ideas. I thought it might be helpful if I gave you a bit of a list of the more unique, or practical I’ve seen.
What is a Bomboniere?
But first, a bit of history behind the idea of bomboniere gifts. The practice of giving bomboniere dates right back to 14th century Italy, when the families of engaged couples swapped small packages filled with sweets as a sign of good fortune. Over time, those horrible sugar-coated almonds became the preferred choice of sweets and are pretty much now the staple of Australian bomboniere gifts… unfortunately. Hopefully this list will give you other ideas! 🙂
Bomboniere ideas
Lolly Bar
This idea I’ve seen a few times at weddings I’ve covered. The idea is that your guests are given a small bag or basket of some description in order to fill up themselves with a selection of sweets. It’s also there to augment your menu during the reception of course 🙂
Bridal party deck of cards
This one can be fun, how about printing off a deck of cards featuring an image of the bride and groom, along with their entourage as King, queen, Jack, etc? Doing this is surprisingly cost effective when done on the scale needed for wedding favours, and you can literally personalise it with yourself!
Home made sauce or Jam
I often mention this to new wedding photography clients as an idea to get the older members of your family involved in your wedding day. It’s common to have members of the family who might want to be involved with your wedding, but cant for whatever reason. Why not let them sort out your bomboniere gifts with their cooking skills? This is right up there with the lolly bar in terms of how often I see this at weddings.
A scratchy lottery ticket
While perhaps not the most personal of bomboniere ideas, an instant win lottery ticket would be very cost effective (or expensive, depending on how much you want to spend) and can create a sense of excitement and even delirious joy in the off chance someone strikes it lucky! Could even double as a last minute gift for your guests to give back to you via your wishing well.
A picture frame
If you happen to have a photo booth at your wedding reception, and if it’s like the SvenStudios photo booth, that prints proper sizes prints for your guests to keep, why not keep them in style with their own photo frame?
Polaroids
As a bit of a segway from the photo frames, perhaps have a few polaroid instant cameras floating about your reception? your guests can pick one up and create their own little keepsake from your wedding.
Individual caricatures
Or how about even having a cartoon artist wandering about drawing everyone? This bomboniere ideas as it always makes people smile and how awesome is having a piece of art to take home from your wedding?
Lego minifigs or small toys
For the child in all of us, a recent wedding I was a photographer at had little bags of toys for every guest, and included were lego minifigs. Both young and old had a blast opening their little lego man and spending time building them while waiting for their entrée to arrive. By the end of the night, every table had a small army of little men running about. It was pretty awesome… Because everything is awesome.
Selecting the perfect bomboniere for your special occasion can be a daunting task, but with a little creativity and thoughtfulness, you can create a meaningful and memorable gift for your guests.
Whether you choose to go with a classic favor or a more personalized option, the key is to keep your guests in mind and choose something that reflects the overall theme and style of your event. With these bomboniere ideas and tips, you can make sure that your guests leave with a special token of appreciation that will be treasured for years to come.